Well, I’m here, back at my parent’s house. Nobody is in, and I’ve just heated up the “spag bol” my mum left for me in the kitchen. I’ve added my own ingredients by way of garlic bread, and what a treat it is to be able to heat it up in an oven. I also raided the shamefully lacking wine stash (sorry Dad, but if it helps, this Shiraz is a wonderful compliment to my dinner).

Kudu is in a complete mess, a hectic pile of everything all over the cabin. Everything got thrown in there this morning, from fenders to washing up I hadn’t done. Well, almost everything since in my haste I left the sails and boom on the quay in Stonehaven. Clever, eh. I’m hoping I might be able to get the sails back at least.

It feels strange to be here. I’m not sure I like it. I could be back to work in less than two weeks time, I hope I am, but I’ll be back to paying off debt, suffering the twice daily commute, the rude people who are obviously more important that anybody else around them, and the sad want for the weekend to arrive. It will be like I never left London, instead living the east coast dream between the alarm clock and the realisation that it’s now 9:30AM, and you had a conference call 15 minutes ago.

Oh dread. I hope it’s gone tomorrow. Maybe this is just the comedown from an entirely different way of life and in a few days I’ll be back to normal.

Well, I seem to have messed this post up. I was going to write a big post thanking everybody for all the support and help I’ve had, but I feel that this rant has kicked off on the wrong foot. I’ll write a proper thank you post another time when I’m a bit more cheery, but suffice to say for now, I remember everybody who helped me, from the first person (Jim Dew) to the last (Gordon, who gave the toilet key back to the Harbour Master for me this morning). Whether you left a comment on this blog, bought me a pint, shared a conversation, donated some food, or advice, lent a friendly ear, kicked me up the backside when I needed it, offered equipment to keep me safe, or travelled miles with a spare transistor and soldering iron to fix my solar charge controller without being prompted, I thank you.

I ran out of money in Wells. Not your usual running out of money that people usually tell you about when you invite them to the pub, though. This was really running out of money. I transferred the last £100 from a savings account into my current account just so I could buy food. Then eventually that ran out too. The overdraft was on it’s limit, and the credit card long since past its capacity. I had the spare change left on Kudu, and that was all the money in the world I could get my hands on.

Since Wells, I’ve been surviving on more borrowed money. Every time I’m delayed by the weather, I’m further in debt. Every time the boat breaks, it costs me money that I will be paying back over the following year.

I left Stonehaven on Saturday morning to be confronted by a 30 knot gust which sheared the brass gooseneck bolt. I suppose I can count myself lucky it happened when it did, but nevertheless  we limped back into the harbour.

To fix it was no major feat, although I still haven’t done it, but it meant another few days delay, and then there’s the weather. I’ve been plagued by bad weather for the entire trip, and it’s certainly not looking any better. There are deep lows hovering over the Atlantic at the moment, and they’ll be making their way over here to the East coast, meaning even more days stuck in harbours, and even more debt clocking up.

I’m not going to tell you just how my I owe, but suffice to say that this cannot continue any longer or I’ll be a prisoner to it for far too long. I gave it my best, I got to Scotland, but I have been beaten by constant breakages, bad weather, and inexperience.

Kudu will undergo a hefty refit this winter, with modifications built upon my experience this summer. Next year she will be ready for further adventures, but the reality is next year I’ll still be paying back this year. We will see what happens I suppose, but rest assured, this is not Kudu’s last adventure.

I’m off back to Preston by road on Thursday. Next week I’m sure I’ll have a few interviews, and the week after be back in the office. It will be like my life hasn’t changed at all, but as I’m sat there at my new desk, happily coding away on some fancy new piece of software, I’ll have a faint smile on my face, because I know what I did in the summer of 2009, and I will never ever forget it.

Thank you to everybody I met, everybody who offered help, and everybody who sent messages of support. Without you, I’d never have got this far.

For now, the flame of adventure has been reduced to a humble pilot light, but it won’t go out. It’s just a matter of time before there’s an almighty explosion.